The Alchemist

“Will my moment ever come?”

That’s a thought that I’ve had in fluctuating frequencies over the past 8 years, increasingly so in the past year.

You watch friends live out the moments you think you long for, you see shows and naively think “I could do that”, you audition next to 15 demigods and think “They’ll never pick me”, you ride the high of potential, you crash when it disappears, you brush by the moments others might envy, you explain away your victories as flukes, you explain away your failures as them not giving you a chance, you check your email with expectation, it comes when you least expect it, you need a day job you don’t care about so you can go to auditions, wait you need a day job that doesn’t rob your soul, wait you need a day job that pays your rent, you sit by your phone for a day, you think about giving it all up, the potential moment comes and you memorize, prepare, and dream. Then, you try to let it go.

And then the moment comes and you get to write about how it was all worth it.

Or wait...

Do you have to wait for the moment before you can say it was all worth it? Is it worth it if your moment never comes? Did you miss your moment waiting for a better moment to come along?

I’ve been struck with the insanity of my personal career choice lately as I’ve wandered past rooms filled with face-melting vocals, spoken written words of brilliance beyond my comprehension, and traded thoughts on characters with artistic geniuses.

At a certain level, everyone is talented. Everyone is working hard. Everyone desperately needs it in their own way.

And the other thing is, the difference between you and the winner could be something as pedestrian as an inch of height. It could be something more painful, like weighing more, being less attractive, or even more painful, less talented. It could be the dreaded “I just can’t put my finger on it, but they went the other way.” No matter, however. Because whatever the reason was, it’s the difference between living your moment or continuing to be a waiter (or a barista, or a temp, or a personal assistant, or a fitness coach, or a party planner, or a nanny, or whatever other ridiculous job we have that’s keeping capitalism and the wealth gap alive.)

But then you look around and think, “I was a breath away from my moment! Maybe if I stay longer/try harder/sleep more/get coaching, I’ll get it next time!”

And maybe you’re right. But, also, maybe, that was the closest you’ll ever get to your moment.

So then you must return to that question:
Are you allowed to decide that it will be worth it before you get to “your moment”?

I, for one, have been far too guilty of only analyzing the present moment vs. what I want my moment to be. I have neglected the journey that I’ve traveled, more importantly the places I’ve gotten to see. I’ve not realized the vast amount of people I’ve met, more importantly how each one has shaped the person I’ve become. And, perhaps most of all, I’ve taken for granted the stedfast love of my family, which is the “moment” so many others in my life would long for.

So here’s what I am living into, with an assist from Paulo Coelho and his book The Alchemist. I am pursuing my Personal Legend, and there is no nobler task that a human can pursue. The longing for my moment that I feel I will now consider the goading hand of the universe that bids me forward.

“... before a Dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons as we’ve moved towards that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. The point at which, in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees appear on the horizon...

Every search begins with beginner’s luck. And every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.”

So I take great joy in publicly declaring that my pursuit continues on, despite the presence or lack thereof of palm trees on my horizon. The trials sure to come will only add to the marvelous journey I’ve had so far.

May you and I be comfortable living our Personal Legends, despite our trials, missteps, setbacks, and struggles.

May we declare ourselves Victors while still in pursuit, rather than waiting until we find our personal treasure.

Let’s really live into this,

Peter