Patrick Steadman Taylor

From Peter: It’s hard to forget the first time I met Patrick, standing in a cast circle before our first rehearsal of A Christmas Carol at Actor’s Theatre of Louisville. It came time for his introduction and he says, “I’m Patrick Steadman Taylor, I’m playing Young Ebenezer and I’m an actor with Tourette’s Syndrome.” *Cue thunderous applause*. You can tell they really love Patrick at ATL. It’s hard to not be swept up in his aura, his charisma, and his story.  

And, if I’m revealing the part of me that I don’t like, a part of me leapt to a conclusion and thought, “How does that work?” 

Ten minutes into rehearsal, though, you understand why Patrick is so loved. He’s the most positive person you’ll ever meet in your life, he’s beyond committed to the work, and shows up with love in every aspect of his life. He’s also extremely talented. He can switch from hilarious to heartfelt in a way that I can only liken to Mike Birbiglia. He’s a joy to watch and to be in a cast with. 

Now, maybe you’re like me and have never had the opportunity to work with a neurodiverse actor before. Maybe, also like me, a part of you read that Patrick has Tourette’s Syndrome and jumped to some conclusion about what that meant. And here’s the best part about Patrick: 

He runs into that. He gave up two hours of his time to record our following conversation, in which I ask him a lot of invasive, personal, and, likely, very ignorant questions. He answered every one with love, grace, understanding, and an intimate vulnerability. It’s one of my best memories from my time in Louisville. 

I learned a lot about Tourette’s Syndrome from this interview, but I learned a lot more about how much wisdom and humanity one person can have. You’ll see him deftly switch from issues of college decisions, money, dreams, alcohol, body image, inclusion, empathy, and humor. There’s about eight topics we could spend an entire different feature on. So, with that knowledge, I’ll get out of his way. We hope you enjoy learning from Patrick as much as we did.

Patrick! Can you give us the reader’s digest version of your life before we get into the nitty gritty? (do people still say nitty gritty???)

I love “nitty gritty”. But… I’ve never read Reader’s Digest. Is that just a blurb? (laughs) It was always in my mother’s bathroom… but I never read it. 

Anyway, I was born and raised in Miami, Florida. I moved from Miami to right outside Jacksonville in a small farm town called Middleburg, Florida when I was 14 to start high school. Which was HARD. To lose all your friends and, on top of that, I was PEAKING with Tourette’s Syndrome. You’re already the talk of the town because you’re new to the town, but now I’m the new kid who moves and makes noises?! It’s even worse. 

I did 4 years of high school. Then, I found this small intensive, conservatory called Florida School of the Arts in Palatka, Florida. I went there for 3 years, got an Associate in Science, don’t know why it’s called an Associate in Science, but it was with a focus on acting. Then, I transferred to Marshall University. I did SETC, found Marshall, went to Marshall for 3 more years because a lot of my credits didn’t transfer. I was in school for 6 years. Moved to New York. About 4 years into it, my wife, Jordan, got offered the Producing and Casting apprenticeship at Actor’s Theatre. We already knew about this place since college. I moved here with her, deferred my acceptance to the Atlantic Acting School in NY. So that was her year. Then we went back to New York and it was my year to do the Atlantic Acting School. Then, I got this apprenticeship and couldn’t pass it up- so it’s my year again? She’s an angel. 

I’m the youngest of 5. I have a half sister and then the other 3 are my cousins. I was adopted by my aunt and uncle, because my mother was unfit to take care of us since she was addicted to drugs. This is a little more than Reader’s Digest… I just love being super open about it.

No, please. Give us more than Reader’s Digest.

So, both my mother and I were both high on cocaine when I was born. She didn’t know she was pregnant with me… I was almost born in a toilet. I want to write a show about this one day. She thought she had to go to the bathroom. She moved to a waterbed, I was born in a waterbed and then I was airlifted to the hospital where I lived in an incubator for 3 months because I was three months premature. So that probably ties into the fact that I have Tourette’s Syndrome? (laughs) And multiple webbed toes. 

My birth mother died of heart failure when I was 10. I never lived with her. I visited her on the weekends. I call my aunt and my uncle ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ because I lived with them my whole life. My cousins I call my brothers and sisters because I grew up with them. They’re my brothers and sisters. 

I will always wonder if that experience with my mom ties into the fact I have Tourette’s. I’ve been told it’s hereditary. I’ve been told it’s not. I don’t know. I don’t know who my father is, my mother didn’t know. So I don’t know if he had Tourette’s Syndrome? This is no longer Reader’s Digest, this is a magazine… 

You received your BFA from Marshall University. What led you to go to school there? What was the most important part of your time there? 

To be 100% honest, it was a full scholarship. I could not pay for it. My parents could not pay for it. Interesting fact, I was considered a ward of the state of Florida because my mother had passed and my aunt was my legal guardian. So, in essence, the state owned me. So the state had to pay for my first 4 years of college. And we learned this, like, 2 weeks before I started at Florida School for the Arts. So Florida School of the Arts was free. After that, I was auditioning for all these schools after this… and we just didn’t know if we could pay for it.

Marshall was super into the fact that I had Tourette’s Syndrome. They were fascinated by it and offered me a full scholarship 3 days after I auditioned at SETC. I was just, like, “Cool. That’s the one.”

I learned a lot at Marshall. I also met my wife there, so that was the best. But, other than that, I was really self conscious. I lost 40 pounds my senior year of high school, so I was very much the “fat, funny friend”. And I hated that. But I always steered towards the funny parts in college. I would come into auditions with old characters or accent characters. A professor called me into her office and said “You’re really talented, but if you come to one of my auditions with a character monologue, I WILL NOT cast you in my next show. I want you to branch out and realize that you can be a leading man.” So I played three leading men while I was there. That gave me the confidence and reassurance I CAN play a leading man and a character actor. 

You are currently in the Professional Training Company at Actors Theatre of Louisville. How has this experience been so far? What has been the most impactful experience or lesson at the halfway point? 

We would come to ATL all the time in college. I fell in love with it a long time ago. And I auditioned 5 times for this program. I think it’s great. 

When I moved with Jordan, I really got insight of what this program was like. I knew I was going to be exhausted. I knew that I was probably going to crew some shows. And I knew I was going to meet people from all walks of theatre and foster some relationships. And that has all happened. I’m exhausted. I haven’t had more than 2 days off in 5 months. Which is great. I’m so grateful.

Something I didn’t realize would happen, is the amount of personal growth I’ve had and the amount of reflection time I’ve had. And the amount of realizations I’ve had just about my person, my self. 

5 days before I moved here, I was told I had a rare liver condition where it’s best that I don’t drink anymore. So I went from drinking a lot, to be honest, to drinking nothing. And the first month, two months I felt weird. Because I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I felt like I was missing out on social opportunities. That’s another big, huge, conversation about alcohol within the theatre scene. Which I don’t shame anyone for. But I would use it as a crutch. I’ve never felt more energized, which is ironic, because I’m so exhausted. But waking up is so much easier. I’ve noticed that I'm not quite as introverted as I thought I was, because of alcohol. I would never have classified myself as an alcoholic, but I definitely used alcohol as a buffering system to speak with people I was nervous to talk to. Whereas now, I’m just like “I got my soda water with an orange, so… Fuck it.”

I’ve learned what gives me energy, what takes it away. What shows I like to work on. What rehearsal room atmosphere I thrive in. Stuff like that I had no idea about. I’ve just had so much personal growth. 

Something you are intentionally open about is having Tourette's Syndrome (TS). Can you talk to us about performing as a neurodiverse actor and how, or if, that has affected your journey? What do you want others to know about TS or neurodiverse actors?

Okay… that’s a loaded one. But I love all of that and I’d love to chat about all of it.

I do want to talk about being intentionally open. That is something I grew into. Before Jordan did this apprenticeship two years ago, I was not open about it. I was scared as soon as I would tell someone before the audition, they would have some preconceived notion and I wouldn’t get hired. It took many conversations with Jordan and folks at ATL. My initial idea, which was maybe a bad minded thing, was using it as a tool to stand out in this sea of white men. Now, two years later, it’s not about that at all. Now, it’s just about unapologetically owning this thing I have because it’s not going anywhere. And it is very misunderstood.

People hear Tourette’s Syndrome and they think of Deuce Bigalow or True Life: I Have Tourette’s Syndrome. Every type of tic has a name. Coprolalia is the name for involuntary swearing or utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks. (I don’t have that, which I’m thankful for, but if I did- I would learn to live with it.)

But people hear I have Tourette’s- so therefore, I must cuss a lot but I don’t. I do have Echolalia, which is repeating things… If I like the way someone says something, I’ll just repeat it. (laughs) Jordan thought I might get us in trouble when we moved to NYC, because I would repeat something I liked and it might make someone think I was making fun of them. 

To circle back, I decided to claim my TS and advocate for myself as an actor with Tourette’s Syndrome for many reasons. When I perform, it goes away. So a lot of times, I wanted to tell people at an audition. But I’d do my material, not have ticked, and then be like “By the way, I have Tourette’s Syndrome”. I didn’t know how to do it. Now, it’s on my website, it’s on my resume, and I made a personality reel where I address it so people can learn about it. Because it is so misunderstood. 

People think I shake because I have no control of my body. It’s just not the case. The case is my brain sends signals to another part of my brain. So, if you want a sip of coffee, your brain sends that signal and your body reacts. My body sends those things prematurely. It sends all these signals saying “You have to do this. And if you don’t do it, you’re going to feel really, really weird until you do it.” So, I can suppress my tics (he does so for about 20 seconds to show me), but after a certain amount of time- they’re going to explode. I always describe it as going to the bathroom. Like, you can hold it for as long as you want, but eventually, you have to go. If you hold it too long (laughs) you might pay some consequences, right? 

Now, I view it as an unapologetic way of saying “I have Tourette’s Syndrome. There are people in the world that have Tourette’s Syndrome. There are also other people in the world that have other neurological conditions that we should be empathetic and kind towards.” It’s a way to spread awareness so that when people go to the theatre... going to the theatre to see a show is a different experience for me than being on stage. A 5-hour Eugene O’Neill show like Long Day’s Journey Into Night? I could be in that show and not tic at all. If I watch it? It’s extremely uncomfortable. The people around me, more often than not, are just rude about it. I get a lot of people turning back with stares of “what is happening?”. That’s always kind of baffles me, because I’m usually with my wife or a person that knows me and is not concerned at all. Obviously, it’s habitual and something that’s normal to them because they don’t look worried. I understand there’s all kinds of theatre viewers, some want complete silence or complete darkness. I just can’t do that. And as a student of the theatre? Going to the theatre and seeing shows, observing shows is as important as it is to be in the show. I love it. It’s my favorite thing to do. But, more often than not, I just don’t go. Or I go and I leave halfway through, and then I’m depressed. And then, it’s just not worth it, because now I feel like shit about myself. 

I think, subconsciously, that’s another thing. I want people to know “performers can have stuff like this too. Actors have Tourette’s Syndrome and other neurological disorders.” 

And, I don’t know, I also paid for this ticket. I’ve never been so loud they can’t hear what’s happening. I’m white, I have a lot of privileges, but I don’t have financial privilege. So I buy this ticket as a present for myself or as a little master class to see my favorite actor. That’s one of the harder parts about it.

As far as helping or hindering me… I’m still on that path. I don’t think it’s a hindrance. I don’t think it’s set me back. I don’t think it’s propelled me either. I will say, the more I’ve started marketing myself as an actor with Tourette’s Syndrome, the idea of tokenization comes up for me. I don’t want to be tokenized. I don’t think I ever have been. But I don’t want to be cast because I have Tourette’s, I just want people to know I have so I can inform people throughout the process. I will say, if it does hinder my career path, if people don’t want to work with me because of that… I don’t want to work with them. Because, as we’ve said, it doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t affect my acting on stage, so it shouldn’t affect a decision on whether or not to cast me.

You were also a Teaching Artist with the Blue Laces Theatre Company. For our readers, this is a company that devises immersive theater experiences for individuals with developmental differences. What’s the most important part about this work?

I found Blue Laces on Playbill to be a devising member of their theatre company. They devise shows specifically for people who are differently abled and on the spectrum of autism. Anyone can go to their shows, but they are sensory friendly in the way they create sensory experiences that the audience can walk through the experience. The audience can stop, touch, feel, and smell as the experience is happening. The actors know that, so we can elaborate if audience members are lingering at a particular moment. It’s an immersive experience allowing people that might get overstimulated or scared in a proscenium setting into an actual world of a show. 

It was one of the coolest auditions I’ve ever been to. We had to make sensory experiences of our favorite summer feelings and they had all of these props, essential oils, whatever. It was such an inviting room. So, I also taught as well- I’d go to schools with kids of different learning abilities and do a show called “Suds”. It’s all about laundry. They reach in and get a sock, wash it, they feel the softness, the suds, put them in the “dryer”. They had so much fun. It’s such an amazing thing to be a part of people experiencing theatre in that way and not just watching it. 

They do shows. They teach. They’re awesome. Look them up.

You will showcase at the end of your time at ATL. How do you deal with the pressures of showcase and figuring out what the next steps are?

I’d like to say that I’m not nervous or that “it’s going to be fine”. But those feelings do arise. I’d love to walk out of here with representation, but the reality is that I don’t know if that’s going to happen. An advantage of having a lot of friends that have done this program and my wife who has done this program is that I’ve seen how much people grow during this program. I am fully aware that if I leave without representation it is, literally, not the end of the world. I have so much time. I’m only thirty years old, that’s right, I’m thirty. It’d be ideal to get representation, but yeah, I’ve grown so much as an artist, I’ve learned so much about myself, and I’ve grown more confident in my abilities as an artist. I feel confident submitting to things. 

I spent my first years in NYC living in my imposter syndrome. Something I said to someone when I got here was “I left my imposter syndrome at baggage claim.” It was silly, but I’m ready. I’ve been out of the market for 3 years, one spent here at ATL supporting Jordan, one at the Atlantic Acting School in the Professional Evening Conservatory- where I learned a new acting method, which was great, and this year I’m learning so much. That, in and of itself, I’ve had a mini-grad school experience. I’m ready to get back and audition, audition, audition. And just have fun, you know. That’s been another motto for me this year: Have fun.

Where are you on your mountain?

I’ve thought about this. Maybe you can help me with the verbiage. I’m not a hiker. I like to hike, but I don’t do enough to have all the metaphors…

I feel like I bought all my equipment to go on this mountain hike. I started the process and I had a little teeny setback where I had to camp out for the night, get more food, take a break, and reorganize my thoughts. But I’m ready to tear the tent back down, get all my stuff back on my back, and continue back up the mountain.

Maybe halfway? Maybe I’m at the halfway point. I feel more energized. I feel more positive about getting up there. I’m ready to just get back on the trail. 

RAPID FIRE:

Favorite Broadway show: So that’s complicated. Ever or right now? I’ll give you both. Little Shop of Horrors I grew up watching and I didn’t realize it was a Broadway musical until I started doing theatre. That I’ve seen on Broadway? Ivo Van Hove’s The Crucible. I either talk to people who love it or hate it. I loved it. I thought the performances were great. I thought his approach was really cool. It was much more about the men fear mongering and not as much about the relationship with Abigail and John. 

Favorite stage experience outside of Broadway: I probably have a lot, but I saw this show called YOUARENOWHERE at 3-Legged Dog. There was this moment where the background falls and there’s an audience on the other side mirroring you. And you think it’s a mirror, but then you learn it’s actual people. It was just such a fun, cool, show that bent what a theatrical experience could be.

TV show you binge: Oh, Schitt’s Creek. I’ve watched every episode of Schitt’s Creek like 5 times.

Podcasts you love: I got really into Stuff You Should Know to fall asleep because of their monotone voices. But now I get so interested in it, I can’t fall asleep to it anymore. 

Any actors with Tourette’s Syndrome mainstream should know about?: Yes, Gardiner Comfort wrote a one person show called The Elephant in Every Room That I Enter. I think it’s a brilliant title. But it’s about his first time going to a Tourette’s Syndrome support group, which can be a scary thing for us, because tics can be contagious. So I don’t typically like watching things about Tourette’s because I’m scared I’ll get new tics. And getting a new tic is so weird. You start getting the urge, you do it, you hope it doesn’t stick, and finally, you just sort of accept it. And then, I don’t know, (laughs) I name it. It’s here now. But he’s great. He teaches master classes in New York. He came to a show my wife and I put on, we chatted, and it was wonderfully comforting hearing him in the audience. Other artists have it, too. It’s more common than we think. About 1 in 100 people have it. Like, Billie Eilish has a mild version of it. Dan Aykroyd was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome. There’s lots of people that we don’t think about.

Any other obsessions?: I love plants. I have over 40 house plants. I have a lot of pathos. It’s a vining plant and they’re super easy to propagate. (laughs) I sound like such a NERD. From the first one I got in New York 6 years ago, I have, from that plant, maybe 7 around my house that I’ve propagated from that plant. 

Religious, Spiritual, or nah?: Nah. And, I mean, we can talk about that later off the record… But, (smiles) for now- nah.

Best part of being married to someone who’s on the business side of the arts: There’s balance. We both started on the acting side. Can I give you a pro and a con?

The pro is: Balance. I can have conversations with her about acting and she’ll come in with “Well, on the production or as a producer….” And I get to think “Oh, yes. Of course. My actor brain totally forgot about that. Thank you for the reminder.”

A con: I often make her job about me. Like, she knows a lot of people I would like to know. She is a producer, she is in casting. But it’s about her. I guess it’s not a con, I guess it’s a pro. We’re learning how to coexist in two different worlds while supporting each other and weaving our careers together. 

New works or Classics?: New works because they’re fun and experimental and it’s fun to put your own spin on that new thing. To investigate these new ideas. Classical work is something I want to get into, but don’t know a lot about. 

Food that feeds your soul: That feeds my soul??? I love sushi, but I don’t know that it feeds my soul. (laughs) That’s a HEAVY phrase.

Any bad audition stories?: I was freelancing with an agent maybe 3-4 years ago. I got this phone call after rehearsal one day that my agent had a co-star audition for an Amazon Original Series for me the next day at noon. I was SO excited. Every audition I had been on for them had been a commercial audition where you get the sides when you get there and then go. I get to the audition, there are tons of guys that look just like me. The CD asked me how I was, I made a joke, we LAUGHED. I was like “This is going GREAT”. She said “Wonderful. Whenever you’re ready…” I said “I just need the sides and I’m ready.” Her face fell. She had to go get me sides. There’s internal cuts, there’s “Casting” watermarked throughout the pages. This is the biggest audition I’ve ever been on. She leaves me with “That was really great for a cold read… I would call your agent and ask why you didn’t get these sides.” I went home and I CRIED.

I get inspired by: Acts of kindness. I get inspired by helping people. I’ve always been crafty- always wanting to make things with my hands. I was just making soap this afternoon with some of my friends. Just the act of making things with your hands, bonding in that way, getting to know people… All of that makes me want to keep going.

Favorite playwright: I love Branden Jacob-Jenkins. I saw the world premiere of Appropriate here at Actor’s Theatre. And I saw Everyman. I love him.

Stage or Screen: It’s changing! I grew up in theatre. I love it. I have all my training in it. I love the adrenaline it gives me. BUT, I want to do film. I want to learn more about it. I’m finding it fascinating with how little you have to do to convey something. Ideally, I’d love to learn more about tv/film and start doing more of that. 

Biggest beef with the business: I feel like people are getting a lot better about this but… Body images. I think life gave me a big sense of body dysmorphia, but I feel like the industry has contributed to that as well. Not feeling like I look like “that guy” is such a toxic feeling. I compare myself to actors all the time. If you’re a leading man, you have to be ripped and tall. To be a character actor you feel you need to be the exact opposite. Like I said, the industry is getting better about that. But it’s hard to shake those comparisons. Sometimes I look at my belly and just thank it. 

Social media handles?: @ptayloractor on insta and twitter. Website patricktayloractor.com

Anything you’d like to promote?: My wife and I started an event and we do it about once every two months. It started in college as students just practicing monologues. Then, it evolved into “What do you want to work on?” And we would host it in our backyard. It’s called “Hearts on the Wall”- we called it that because we had a graffiti heart spray-painted on a concrete wall in our backyard in college. We were like, “Throw your heart on the wall and see what sticks.” When we moved to New York, it evolved even further. We now have a residency at Dixon Place. It’s just an opportunity for artists of any medium, of any kind, to bring work that is “in progress”. To just experiment. To get initial feedback. To feel the vibe of the audience. There’s no formal talk-back, but people come up to you at the bar, you exchange social media handles and you just get a sense of what sticks ‘on the wall’. We’ve had musicians, playwrights, clowning pieces, poetry, drag queens, sketch comedy groups… Anything. You can learn more about it at jordan-bean.com/hotw

Photo Credits:

1. Feature Photo

2. Patrick and wife, Jordan Bean

3. Patrick with his pup, Chelsea

4. Patrick and Kala Ross in A Christmas Carol at The Actors Theatre of Louisville photo by Jonathan Roberts